


Wake-Up Call

by Czaritsa (RomaStache)



Series: Red Velvet Reel [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Insecurities and Comfort, M/M, Mpreg, SO MUCH FLUFF, Slice of Life, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Underfell Papyrus, Underswap Papyrus, skelepreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-01 10:47:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13996638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomaStache/pseuds/Czaritsa
Summary: Noun: an unexpected or astonishing event, fact, or thing.Noun: a telephone call made according to a prior arrangement to wake the person called.Stretch did NOT get to sleep in that Saturday. But that’s not a bad thing.He makes pancakes. Everybody love pancakes, right?





	1. Wake-Up Call

**Author's Note:**

> Underfell Papyrus is Edge!  
> Underswap Papyrus is Stretch!
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3

“HRGH!”  
  
  
Stretch woke up with a gurgle as he felt something jump on him, jolting awake disoriented and alarmed. He groaned, tension immediately draining as he remembered where he was... and who he was with. He had never felt so tired in his life. Edge wasn’t usually so cruel.  
  
  
“Wake up, wake- _Finally!”  
  
  
_ He felt hands on his face, excited and not particularly gentle as they patted his cheeks. Stretch groaned again, throwing an arm over his face.  
  
  
“Baby, no-“ he mumbled, trying to roll over and fall back asleep. Edge was quick to stop him, straddling his spine and giving him another firm shake. It was uncomfortable, but he had plenty of experience sleeping through worse.  
  
  
“Baby yes!”  
  
  
Stretch snorted, eyes still closed as he felt Edge grab his hands, moving them off of the bed and... onto his stomach? Stretch frowned, gently prodding at the magic ectobody. He felt Edge shift uncomfortably, like he was ticklish, but there a palpable excitement even through the dull haze of sleep.  
  
  
His tired mind could not begin to process what was going on. Edge wasn’t particularly ticklish, had never indicated that was something he was even into. He thought he knew they guy pretty well- they had been married a while, dating even longer.  
  
  
“Open your eyes, _Papa._ ”  
  
  
The fuck? Was he having a stroke? Was Edge trying to explore some weird new kink? Was this a stupidly realistic dream?  
  
  
Stretch finally squinted up at his husband with a tired sigh. “M’not _opposed_ , but’s too damn early for kinky bullshit. What-“  
  
  
Edge frowned, clapping a hand over Stretch’s mouth, “Language! We’ve both got to set the best of examples now!”  
  
  
“What kind  of unsexy wet dream-” Stretch grumbled around Edge’s fingers, pushing them away from his mouth. He gave his husband the stink eye, yawning as he stared at the conjured ectomagic blankly.  
  
  
“Yes!” Edge practically vibrated, looking happier than Stretch had ever seen before, _“Yes!!”_  
  
  
Stretch rubbed his sockets, hard, staring at his husband in stupefied confusion. Edge shifted uncomfortably after about two minutes, smile turning more sardonic as he gestured at himself impatiently, “I know I am devilishly handsome and it is your very good luck to be able to see my beautiful face each and every morning. And while you should rightfully cherish and adore me at all times-“  
  
  
This was less of the Twilight Zone. Stretch gave an incredulous chortle, leaning back against the headboard, “Always a _bone_ -afide delight.”  
  
  
Edge gave him a sharp look. Pulling his shoulders back and straightening his spine regally, he continued primly, “I didn’t waste twenty minutes of my morning waking your... eh-“  
  
  
The effect was seriously undercut by the leopard-print pajama pants, but he was able to keep it limited to an amused grin as he patiently waited for Edge to finish.  
  
  
“Your... _sleepyhead,_ “ Stretch burst out laughing at that one, and he saw Edge’s hands twitch towards his neck, settling on pinching his collarbone, hard.   
  
  
“Just to suffer through your juvenile, uninspired, and frankly embarrassing humor.”   
  
  
“There’s the grouch I know and love,” he clasped his husband’s hands, easing them off of his sore collarbone as he planted a chaste little kiss to both sets of knuckles. “Now, what’s so special at unholy o’clock this morning, Sunshine? ‘Cause I’ve never been more confused.”  
  
  
Edge gave an exasperated noise that sounded like both a sigh and a groan, giving Stretch’s hands a squeeze before bringing them back to the semi-opaque magic of his abdomen. He rearranged Stretch’s fingers so he was essentially flipping himself off, aimed at a faint little white blob. Had that always been there?  
  
  
“I’m pregnant, you dense motherfucker.”  
  
  
“Eeey,” Stretch blurted our as he he tried to process this information. Edge looked positively murderous for a moment, before he seemed to realize his accidental pun with an ashamed facepalm.  
_  
  
“Goddamnit!”  
  
  
_ Stretch didn’t feel like this was really happening.  
  
  
“Mother, hmm… While Mama does have a nice ring to it, I do like the sound of Dad too.”  
  
  
He frowned at the protective magic, craning his neck as he strained his eyes to get a better look. He relaxed his fingers, hesitantly outlining the small souling with a thumb. Well, he guessed it was kind of glowy... and it sorta did look like a teeny tiny heart.   
  
  
“That’s a baby?” he heard himself ask distantly.  
  
  
There was a beat of silence before Edge answered, much more subdued, “...Yes.” Followed with uncharacteristic trepidation, “Is that... all right?”  
  
  
“Huh??” Stretch didn’t think anything else could have been more surprising this morning. Leave it up to Edge to raise the bar. “What do you mean ‘is it all right’?”  
  
  
Edge started cracking his joints, a nervous tic he would never admit to having. He stared at the headboard intensely, looking like he might say something- before abruptly shaking his head.  
  
  
“Nevermind,” He made a move to get up, “It’s not important-“  
  
  
For all of Edge’s training and fast reflexes, Stretch never failed to catch him by surprise with his speed. He flipped their positions, carefully, and pinned Edge down. Predictably, his husband was less than pleased, trying to turn away as he grabbed those sharp cheekbones.  
  
  
“What-“  
  
  
“Babe, we’ve gone over this like a hundred times,” Stretch couldn’t help the slight whine as he rested his chin on Edge’s collar bone, gently prodding his cheeks, “You’ve got to tell me when something’s wrong, it’s my job to figure out a way to help. Your feelings matter to me.”  
  
  
Edge stiffened, turning to stare up at the ceiling  and looking incredibly uncomfortable.  
  
  
“Tell meee~” He leaned down and started peppering kisses along Edge’s neck, making his way down to his clavicle. Edge started to squirm a little, but didn’t break. Fine, he would play his ace, then.  
  
  
“I promised Red I’d always make you happy. It’d really suck if my brother-in-law murdered me before I got the chance to tell him he’s gonna be an uncle-“  
  
  
“Is this... good?!” Edge finally blurted out, reaching up to pull Stretch into an overly tight hug. He couldn’t see Edge’s face from this angle, but he sounded anxious and uncertain, “We didn’t really talk about this. We haven’t planned for this. Maybe... this isn’t such a good thing. Maybe it’s- It might be best if...”  
  
  
Stretch shifted to a more comfortable position, running gentle, soothing hands down his husband’s back. He thought about his wording very carefully, “You don’t want this?”  
  
  
Edge hesitated a long moment, unable to look him in the eye, before finally shaking his head. A case nerves? Stretch redoubled his efforts to be soothing. “Hey, it’s ok if you’re nervous. This is literally a life-changing event. And yeah, nothing is going to be the same as before, but that’s not a bad thing.”  
  
  
Edge seemed to be wrestling with himself, searching Stretch’s face as he asked, earnestly, “Do _you_ think it’s a good thing?”  
  
  
Where was this even coming from? “Sweetie-“  
  
  
“Just- Yes or no?”  
  
  
“Of course-“ Edge stopped him by pressing his hand against his mouth.  
  
  
“Wait, wait- that isn’t...” He was starting to look frustrated, “This is ridiculous!”  
  
  
“It’s cool,” Stretch mumbled around the fingers, planting a small kiss on the palm, “Take your time.”  
  
  
Edge took a deep breath as though steeling himself for battle, quickly checking the room to confirm they were alone. Old habits.  
  
  
“I want this. Very much,” Stretch nodded to show he was following along, “I’m just not sure... if...  you do too.”  
  
  
Stretch tried to keep his expression neutral, but Edge picked on the hurt immediately, “It’s not- I just- your feelings... matter...“ Edge flushed in the embarrassment, but continued earnestly, “And you... always put others before you. You’ve deferred to me on a lot of things just because I’ve been more motivated about them. Even some things you really didn’t want to do. This _can’t_ be one of them. I need to know that this is something  you want. That you are ready for this step.”  
  
  
Edge cupped his face, looking up with an unplaceable emotion that seemed equal parts loving, melancholic, and desperate, “If you’re ready, if you’re not ready now, if you’re never ready- I will abide and stand by your decision. But it must be your decision.”  
  
  
Stretch had no idea how to respond to any of that. Edge was still looking at him expectantly. He hated this kind of pressure.  
  
  
“Excuse me,” he gave Edge a quick peck on the forehead, releasing him to pull away and scoot further down the bed. He pillowed his head on his arm, head level with the souling. “I gotta confer with Junior, think aloud some.”  
  
  
Edge looked bewildered, but said nothing as Stretch poked his ectomagic gently.  
  
  
“You know, you were absolutely not part of my plans this Saturday. I was gonna sleep in super duper late, eat a really great brunch, and… I don’t know. Go to the store, maybe? I can’t remember what anymore. But now I gotta figure out how I feel about you and convince my husband- your Dad- that I’m ready for… this.”  
  
  
Edge shifted uncomfortably, “I never said _convince!_ And it doesn’t have to be immediately. Actually, maybe you should process this longer-“  
  
  
“Hang on, I’m still consulting Junior.”  
  
  
Edge crossed his arms and huffed. Listening to every word intently, Stretch noted wryly.  
  
  
“I gotta be honest with you, kid- I never had much of sense for the future. Getting through each day was good enough. Never had these grand dreams of ... anything. Career, marriage, parenthood- I, uh, never expected I’d make it this far.”  
  
  
He smiled that self-deprecating smile that Edge hated, reaching out with his free hand. Edge took it without a word and gave a firm squeeze, holding it tightly.  
  
  
“But I did. I never liked change- anytime it happened, it was always for the worst. Don’t tell your Dad this, because I tease him about being a control freak, but I’m even worse. If I could, things would stay the same forever. Weird, huh?”  
  
  
Stretch sighed deeply, pressing closer until his cheek was flush against the protective magic. He claimed his arm back from Edge, shifting his position so he was loosely hugging them both.   
  
  
“I’m... kinda scared. I’m the younger brother, and Edge can take care of himself. I’ve never had anyone depend on me, you know? What am I supposed to do with a teeny tiny monster who’s going to need me for... everything? I never had parents- just Blue.I don’t know what parents are supposed to _do.“_  
  
  
He felt Edge’s hand rest on his skull, petting him softly. He leaned into the touch with a sigh.  
  
  
“I’m terrified I’m going to screw up something awful, and you’re going to pay the price. That’s too much responsibility for such a lazy, undependable guy like me. What if you end up hating me? I kinda don’t want to even try, you know?”  
  
  
Edge paused in his petting only a moment, but Stretch noticed.   
  
  
“I didn’t even wanna give dating a shot, though. The first time Edge snickered at one of my puns, trying to disguise it as a cough, I knew I wanted to ask him out. It wasn’t until a full year later that I finally got the nerve up. Blue bet me 10g I wouldn’t do it, and it wasn’t until I owed him 100g I finally did.”  
  
  
Edge laughed softly, and Stretch watched the ectomagic shift so that the little souling seemed to bounce. That was really cute.  
  
  
“By our fifth date, when he accidentally sucker punched my best friend-  Undyne’s great, by the way, I can’t wait for you to meet her. Anyway, he never apologized, and then he sat on my lap the rest of the evening to make sure she wouldn’t try anything else. Edge was about as cuddly as a cactus back in the day, but he’s pretty hot when he gets possessive. He’s a lot more cuddly now--“  
  
  
Edge dug his fingers into the back of Stretch’s head, hard enough to make him wince, before soothing the area with more gentle petting. He grumbled, “No. You are _very much_ the exception.”  
  
  
Stretch laughed, “That was when I knew I wanted to marry this guy. And it wasn’t until a full four years later that I finally got the courage to ask. I was really scared he’d say no, so I got him a stupid dinosaur ring. It was a green stegosaurus with yellow dots, one of those cheap gum ball machine types.   
  
  
“It’s a really long story, so I won’t bore you with details, Junior. I’ll just say he wore that stupid dinosaur as his engagement ring the entire time, even after I got him a better one and proposed formally. Showing it off like it was super precious and amazing. The sap.”  
  
  
He could feel Edge smile.  
  
  
“What is the point of this really long story, Papa, I’m sure you’re asking yourself, because you have other very important matters to attend to,” Edge laughed again and Stretch nuzzled the souling affectionately, “The point is: I would rather sit the game out than risk losing it. But if I didn’t take the chances I did, I wouldn’t have gotten here. And I couldn’t be happier.”  
  
  
Stretch looked up at Edge with a smile, “I don’t know if I’m ready, if I’ll ever be ready- but I absolutely want this. I already love the squirt and it’s only been half an hour. I just hope they don’t end up as bratty as you, ‘cause I already know I’m gonna be no good at discipline.”  
  
  
Edge looked to the side, a little misty-eyed, squeezing Stretch’s shoulder. Stretch smiled, whispering to the souling, “I promise to be supportive and be the best Papa I can. You don’t know how serious I am about promises yet, so let’s seal the deal with a kiss!”  
  
  
He gave the ectomagic right above the souling a loud raspberry.  
  
  
“GYAH-!?”  
  
  
Stretch received a solid kick to the face that left him reeling, rubbing his face as Edge jumped up and went to the other side of the room. He glowered, hands protectively wrapped around his stomach.  
  
  
“Don’t you ever do that again,” he warned darkly, as he watched Stretch very carefully, “What was that and why?!”  
  
  
“A... raspberry?” Stretch rubbed his jaw, tilting his head, “A belly raspberry? And because it’s fun/funny? Wow. You’re really shrill, damn-“  
  
  
“That is banned. Forever.” Edge kept a wary eye on him as he opened the closet door blindly, groping around before grabbing something off the first hook he found. Stretch’s smiled widened exponentially.  
  
  
“Oh my god? Are you ticklish?”  
  
  
“Absolutely not!” Edge looked absolutely indignant as he pulled the hoodie over his head. He pushed the sleeves up to his elbows, rolling the cuff fastidiously to keep them in place.  
  
  
“Maybe the baby is, but _I_ am not!”  
  
  
Stretch stood up, arms stretched leisurely above his head, slowly making his way towards Edge. His husband backed himself into the corner, arms still held defensively over his stomach.  
  
  
“I am so serious- if you try it again I WILL break your fingers.”  
  
  
Stretch thought about making a joke, but held his hands up in surrender, stopping a few feet away. “Sorry,  sorry. How can I make it up to you?”  
  
  
Edge’s entire demeanor shifted, crossing his arms coyly as he gave a nonchalant shrug. Stretch closed the distance between them, pulling his husband flush against his body. Edge curled his arms around his neck, “I can think of a few things... Honey Bear.” That sultry lilt and pet name sent a shiver down his spine.  
  
  
Stretch willed all of his affection into the simple press of teeth.  He felt Edge smile, pressing closer and deepening the kiss with a skillful swipe of his tongue. Stretch reciprocated enthusiastically, a pleasant heat building in his bones as Edge sighed.  
  
  
“Mmm...”  
  
  
Edge grabbed a handful Stretch’s shirt and arched into his touch, content to let him lead. Stretch only pulled away when Edge’s legs suddenly buckled with a surprised moan, barely keeping the both upright.  
  
  
“Wowie...” Edge murmured, eyelights hazy and heart-shaped, “You’re really on your mettle today.”  
  
  
Stretch flushed at the praise, nuzzling Edge’s hand as it stroked his cheek. “I love you,” he whispered a little breathlessly, touching their foreheads together. “So much.”  
  
  
Edge brought one hand down to rest over Stretch’s soul, “You better.”   
  
  
After a beat of silence, “I... apologize.”  
  
  
Stretch shook his head, closing his eyes and holding Edge close. “No,” he continued, resting his hands on Stretch’s arms, “I’ve never had a reason to doubt your commitment and sincerity. It’s inexcusable to accuse you- to project my own insecurities-“  
  
  
“Nah,” Stretch silenced him with a finger on his mouth, “You never have to apologize to me- not about this. I made you promise you’d always be honest with me, yeah?”  
  
  
Edge looked at him a long moment, an unplaceable emotion on his face, “Honestly? You’re a dependable friend, honorable man, and wonderful husband-“  
  
  
“Stop,” he buried his face in Edge’s shoulder, feeling the pinprick of tears in the corners of his eyes, “You’re gonna make me cry.”  
  
  
“You’re going to be an exemplary father too.”  
  
Stretch sniffled as he felt Edge rub his back, “I- Thanks- I, uh, need a... minute.”  
  
  
“What would you like for breakfast?” Edge continued to run his hands down Stretch’s back, “I could make omelettes. There’s also that horrible sugary breakfast cereal you love so much. I will give you a free pass, only today.”  
  
  
“Pancakes.”  
  
  
“Hm. We’re low on milk, but that should be doable.”  
  
  
“No, no,” Stretch pulled back with a wide smile, discreetly wiping his eyes, “I’m making breakfast for you!”  
  
  
Edge arched a browbone, looking amused, “Oh?”  
  
  
Stretch grinned, feeling a lot more energized as he grabbed Edge’s hand and started pulling him towards the door. “Heck yeah, pancakes with whatever I can find downstairs! And sprinkles! That’s like, the dadliest thing ever, right? Weird Weekend pancakes? Gotta start practicing now!”  
  
  
Edge laughed as he allowed himself to be led, that deep rumble that never failed to make his heart skip a beat. “If you insist... Papa Bear,” Edge said in a rare display of unguarded affection, giving his hand a squeeze.  
  
  
_Oh._ That made him feel all kinds of funny. He shrugged, feeling ridiculous for the sudden sense of bashfulness, scratching at his cheek with his free hand.  
  
  
“I- uh- ok. Anything for you.”


	2. Pancake(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pancakes, Pancake, Chat Break, Pick a Date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the love you've shown this lil' plotbunny! ;w;  
> Y'all are the absolute best! <3

“Remind me what this is, again?”

  
  
“Practice! It’s what they always do in the movies- the little kid sits on the counter, making a mess while trying to stir the pancake batter, while the Dad cooks! And they talk about all sorts of things, mostly the kid asks all sorts of complicated questions the Dad struggles to answer simply. It’s good ol’ wholesome breakfast existentialism!”  
  
  
Edge continued half-heartedly stirring the batter, “I see.” He paused, looking around the kitchen as though taking inventory, “I suggest you very, very carefully consider how much of a mess you make in my kitchen in the future. I won’t be lenient simply because one of you is a child and the other has the brain of one.”  
  
  
“Yeah, yeah,” Stretch took the batter out of Edge’s hands, pouring some of it into the pan with a sharp sizzle, “You are seriously cramping my method acting here. You refuse to sit on the counter, you made the batter too smooth so I don’t need to help you smoosh the large uneven chunks-“ Stretch sputtered indignantly when Edge took the bowl back, wiping the side with a rag before it could drip onto the counter.  
  
  
_“Babe!”_  
  
  
Edge hid a smile behind his hand, looking away as Stretch channeled his outrage at the pancake by poking it with the spatula. Just as quickly, his shoulders drooped and he flipped the pancake, dejectedly, “Actually, you’re right. This is stupid, isn’t it? Babies can’t even eat pancakes, so it’s not like it even matters. Why am I-“  
  
  
“Why- uh, chickens... don’t have... teeth?”  
  
  
Stretch looked up, “Huh?”  
  
  
Edge cleared his throat, feeling silly, “Why don’t chickens have teeth?”  
  
  
“That’s what keeps you up at night?” Despite the teasing, Stretch seemed to have brightened considerably, turning away from the stove with a sparkle in his eye, “It’s super weird, right? They have to swallow rocks to mush up the food inside, so wouldn’t it be easier to just chew it up first? Or smash it up into smaller pieces before they eat it?”  
  
  
Stretch looked at him expectantly. “...yes?” He didn’t know anything about chickens, he had no idea what to say, “So... why... don’t they?”  
  
  
“Well, they don’t have opposable thumbs.”  
  
  
Edge wasn’t sure what expression he was making, but Stretch collapsed on himself with how hard he was laughing. He pushed his (stupid) husband away from the stove before he could fall into the frying pan, plating the half-burned pancake. Stretch fell to his knees, shaking and laughing hysterically as he started to curl up on himself.  
  
  
“Hilarious,” Edge muttered, pouring some more batter into the frying pan and picking up the spatula again, “I hope they don’t inherit your sense of humor.”  
  
  
He didn’t look down when he felt a faint tug on his leg, poking the pancake’s edges loose in preparation to flip it. “I love you-“ Stretch called from the floor, but was ignored. “That really tickles my funny bone, hehe. Anyway, it probably has to do with weight. Teeth are heavy- stomach rocks are not. Chickens with teeth would also look really weird.”  
  
  
Edge did NOT think about how a chicken would look with teeth, flipping the pancake with more finesse. Stretch finally sat up, leaning against a cabinet as he watched Edge start on another. “I bet Pancake loved it.”  
  
  
“The pancake is not sentient and has no sense of humor. If it ever had one, it was all burnt away by your neglect. It’s more charcoal than cake at this point.”  
  
  
“Ouch, what a _burn-_ ” Stretch said in that infuriating joke intonation, ignoring the irritated sigh he got in return, “But I was talking about our baby, Pancake. Although I bet my burnt pancake liked it too-“  
  
  
He froze when Edge leveled him with a piercing glare, awed and a little afraid at how he was able to finish and start on another pancake without looking at what he was doing. “We are not naming our firstborn _Pancake.“_  
  
  
Edge turned away with dismissive click of his tongue, repeating it under his breath like it was a curse, _“Pancake!_ Ridiculous!”  
  
  
Stretch filed the firstborn comment away for later contemplation and analysis, pulling himself to his feet and taking Edge’s old spot by the counter. He eyed the growing stacks of pancakes, crossing his arms self-consciously, “I didn’t say we should _name_ the baby Pancake. I meant Pancake should be the baby’s _nickname_ before they’re born.”  
  
  
Edge frowned as he added a third pancake, giving him a perplexed look. “...Why? And do you want a fourth pancake?”  
  
  
“Nah, maybe later,” Stretch carried both plates to the table as Edge turned off the stove, moving the frying pan to the adjacent burner. Stopping by the counter where he had previously assembled all the necessary toppings, he managed to balance the jam, honey, and syrup in one hand and the large tub of sprinkles in the other. Edge obviously disapproved, quickly putting down the butter to take the precariously balanced bottle of honey and place it on the table.  
  
  
“Cute baby nicknames are like a rite of passage at this point- everybody does it! Of course just ‘baby’ is fine too, but…”  
  
  
Stretch pointedly ignored the disgusted face Edge made as he doused his stack of pancakes with honey, shaking out a mountain of sprinkles on top.   
  
  
“It’s like a cool codeword! It’s not like it’s weird. Comic and Classic’s Alphdyne called theirs ‘tadpoles’, and I think Asgoriel called the royal prince... uh, ‘prince.’”  
  
  
“Who?” Edge put down his fork, looking pensive, “It’s such an undignified nickname, though...”  
  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry,” Stretch gave a sarcastic bow, sweeping his hand out with great flourish, “Young Master _Caviar?_ Their lordship _White Truffle?_ Little… uh, other expensive food name? Eh… fancy nutellla?”  
  
  
Edge kicked him under the table, hard enough Stretch jolted in surprise and banged his knees against the wood. He put his head down, trying to rub some feeling back into them, “C’mon, Pancake is really cute. It’s the most natural compliment to our Red Velvet.”  
  
  
“Red Velvet?” The more Stretch spoke, the more confused Edge felt. Stretch did have a tendency to ramble when he was hyper. He knew sprinkles and honey were a dangerous combination... Edge reached over to grab the jar, bringing it next to his plate with a firm shake of his head. “ _You_ made this batter. If you wanted a different flavor, that’s entirely your fault.”  
  
  
“My pancake batter is amazing, _thank you-“_ Stretch took a huge bite to prove his point, holding his hands up in a T as he chewed as quickly as he could. Swallowing loudly in a way that had Edge twitch in revulsion, he continued, “And not only is that the _best cake_ ever, but it’s also our ship name. Retconned SpicyHoney on account that food combination is not as great as it sounds. Sad to say.”  
  
  
“Stretch,” Edge’s voice had that deceptive calm that meant he was starting to get angry, “If I found out you made _another_ novelty purchase for some inane reason, you had better pray the angel has mercy on your soul. Because _I will not._ ”  
  
  
Self-preservation won out the urge to make a joke, shaking his hands emphatically, “Ship, as in short for relationship, not an actual boat. I wouldn’t pull that _ship_ with you.” Damn, so close. Curse his hilarious, ill-timed sense of humor. Edge gave him _that_ look, but he did seem to relax somewhat. Phew.  
  
  
“So, Alphys and Undyne call themselves Alphdyne, and our- sorry, _my_ monarchs are Asgoriel for Asgore and Toriel. But no combination of Stretch and Edge sounds right. Stredge sounds like something you clean out of your coffee filter. Edtch just sounds gross.”  
  
  
Edge didn’t say anything, continuing to eat in silence and a blank expression. Why was Edge so reluctant and out of touch with current trends? Sometimes it felt he was married to a crusty old grandpa.   
  
  
“Red Velvet?” Edge prompted after Stretch went quiet.  
  
  
“That’s us!” He shook his mind clear of the mental image of Edge knitting in a rocking chair, “You’re Red cause that’s the color of your magic and you’re really...uh, intense.”   
  
  
Edge hummed quizzically, “I thought that was my brother...?”  
  
  
“I’m the Velvet cause I am the approachable, soft one. And together we make a great dessert. The best dessert, even.”  
  
  
“I see,” Edge said in that tone of voice he always used when he was humoring Stretch. “Why Pancake? There’s also cupcakes, cookies, the actual cake-“  
  
  
“Cause none of those things _move._ If you’re the father, I’d be willing to bet a whole bottle of honey they’re gonna be an absolute menace when they start being able to kick and move around.”  
  
  
“Oh? Not that much faith in your soul signature?” Edge rested his cheek in his hand, eyeing Stretch in a predatory way that made him feel very vulnerable, “I’d take that bet, but I don’t care much for honey.”  
  
  
“What would you rather have?” Stretch regretted those words immediately when Edge smirked, tapping his chin as though thinking deeply.   
  
  
“How about you come with me to the youth club sometime? The children would very much benefit from your softer... touch.” Edge emphasized the last word by laying his hand over Stretch’s and intertwining their fingers.  
  
  
Stretch swallowed audibly, looking away from Edge’s piercing gaze and tugging on the collar of his hoodie uncomfortably, “Uh, I dunno, Babe. Those kids are _really_ intense... and I don’t think they like me very much.”  
  
  
“Nonsense! They’re just a little wary around you because they don’t know you well. They try to intimidate you before you can intimidate them. They’re still learning.” Stretch made a distressed noise, and Edge stroked the back of his hand with his thumb, “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I won’t let any of them bully you _too_ badly.”  
  
  
“Aw, shucks,” Stretch was trying very hard to avoid giving in. He knew Edge loved those kids in his own gruff way, and they weren’t _bad_ kids. A lot of them had rough pasts they were trying to distance themselves from, and they were getting help to manage their tempers… but angry, scared human children were the stuff of nightmares. Even with some other monster volunteers there, there was no way-  
  
  
“You can make them pancakes, and get some real _hands on experience,_ ” Edge whispered directly into his acoustic meatus, running a hand down Stretch’s spine. “I would certainly be _very appreciative_ ,” He squeaked with that unexpected squeeze to his lower back, staring as Edge leaned back and folded his arms innocently, “But that’s only if you lose. And you are welcome to pitch a counter offer.”  
  
  
“Well, when you put it like that, how can I say no?” Stretch rubbed at his neck, relishing the twinkle in Edge’s eye and the kiss he got on the cheek. “And I’ll do it even without this bet. Next week?”  
  
  
“Promise?”  
  
  
He let out a breath, “Yeah.”  
  
  
“Excellent! Then as a counteroffer, if little Pancake takes after your lazy nature instead,” Stretch scoffed as Edge was still focused on that silly bet. He should know by now that Edge and Red took wagers incredibly seriously, and yet he was still surprised, “You need to take Puppy and Red out for some event. Your choice of activities, even mini golf, and the ability to freely veto their ideas. I would advise against bar hopping.”  
  
  
“...You mean Slim?” Stretch was still confused over that latest development. Red and Edge regarded Slim and Razz with suspicion and distrust, mutually held, for almost their entire courtship period. Then somewhere between getting engaged and moving into the ‘Swap’ universe permanently, Edge had somehow become absolute besties with Slim. Suddenly, he was ‘Puppy,’ and they would... sit and drink together at get togethers without talking or really acknowledging each other. They were... getting along?  
  
  
“Yeah, ok. I’ll babysit ‘Puppy’ and Red for a night,” Stretch didn’t have much to lose, and maybe he could gain some insight into this new friendship of theirs. Both of the Fell brothers had been their typical tight lipped selves about it, and Slim barely spoke to... well, anyone. “What do _I_ get if Pancake’s not a flop, eh?”  
  
  
Edge rolled his eyes, unimpressed, “You don’t want a bottle of honey?”  
  
  
“Tempting,” He nodded sagely, “But if I’m gonna play nice with your friends and family, you’re gonna play nice with mine! Let Blue throw you a baby shower.”  
  
  
At Edge’s dubious expression, he held up a hand, “It’s a human thing, but it’s pretty nice. It’s a little party celebrating the baby, and a chance for the parents-to-be to receive presents and advice from friends and family, play games, stuff like that.”  
  
  
“Like a pre-birthday party?” Edge looked contemplative, before holding his pinky out, “Deal.”  
  
  
Stretch extended his own pinky, and they shook on it. Stretch’s pancakes had long gone lukewarm, so he picked at them, debating heating them up again. Would the sprinkles melt? That’d probably still taste ok.  
  
  
“So is that how you seal deals where you’re from originally?” He asked conversationally, watching Edge get up and start putting the various ingredients away. Stretch swiped the sprinkles while his back was turned, adding another heap to his plate. “Pinky promises?”  
  
  
“No. That’s… Red taught me that when we were children, and it seemed appropriate. Deals are ratified through a Dust Oath. Both monsters slice their palm deeply enough to knock off a hit point, causing the area around the wound to dust. They clutch wounded palms together to intermingle dust, with one witness each.”  
  
  
“Gotta _hand_ it to you guys, that’s really intense,” Stretch flexed his fingers in sympathetic pain,  “I’m guessing you don’t do that everyday, huh?”  
  
  
“No,” there was a wistful note in Edge’s voice as he reached up on his tiptoes, putting the flour back in the top shelf, “If you break a dust oath, the penalty is death- and it is always enforced. So it was typically only used to seal very important pledges.”  
  
  
Stretch frowned at Edge’s back, standing up to put his plate in the microwave. He wondered if he should leave this thread or conversation alone, but he was very curious. Edge never did like talking about his home universe, despite an obvious fondness and longing.  
  
  
“Speaking of promises, when do we tell our brothers?” Stretch asked instead. He didn’t miss the way Edge’s shoulders and posture became tense. He retrieved his pancakes and sat back down, waiting for his husband to stop scrubbing the frying pan with more force than necessary.  
  
  
“‘Cause you said you wouldn’t go see the doctor about Pancake until after you told your brother first. And it has been like, two weeks. You’re kinda due for a checkup-“  
  
  
“Yes, I know,” Edge’s voice had an (heh) edge to it as he turned the water on, rinsing the pan and placing it back on the stove to dry. Stretch finished the rest of his pancakes in silence, stepping around Edge to put his plate in the sink. He was stopped by a hand reaching out, grabbing his forearm tightly.  
  
  
“I’m not... sure... how... ”  
  
  
Edge’s voice was uncharacteristically quiet, so Stretch pulled him into a backwards hug, resting his chin on the top of his husband’s head. Edge’s penchant for high heels and his own poor posture always made him forget about their height difference, but moments like these left Edge looking so small. Stretch didn’t like it at all.  
  
  
“I figured you wanted to do something dramatic, like have them work for it by completing a puzzle or a scavenger hunt or something. There’s a lip reading game that’s been popular lately- seeing as none of us have lips, that has great potential for laughs.” Edge didn’t say anything, but Stretch felt him shift, “But if you’re feeling something more lowkey...”  
  
  
Stretch looked around the kitchen for a burst of inspiration, but nothing seemed to stand out. Except the dirty plate in the sink.  
  
  
“We could invite our brothers over for breakfast or something, and give them a stack of red velvet pancakes. And then flat out tell them. Give em coffee in #1 Uncle mugs. What do you think? Simple but not exactly boring either.”  
  
  
Edge leaned back, hugging his arms with a dejected sigh. Stretch wasn’t even sure what the problem was, why Edge had been so reluctant to share the news even though he was very clearly excited. He refused to tell anyone before he told Red... and then refused to tell Red. Did they have a fight? Was it some Fell thing? Was it because he insisted they tell Blue at the same time? What-?  
  
  
Before he could say anything, Edge let go and stepped out of his embrace. He picked the plate up, starting to scrub at honey again.  
  
  
“I think I’m going to be very tired of pancakes very, very soon. When do you want them over?”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More indulgent fluff and insecurity and comfort! :,D  
> End of this installment! To be continued in a future one!

**Author's Note:**

> VERY SELF-INDULGENT AND FLUFFY I KNOW.  
> I debated leaving this to rot in the depths of my files forever instead but… there's never enough Spicyhoney, right?  
> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Thank you so much for reading. :,D  
> Red Velvet Reel has a [tumblr](https://redvelvetreel.tumblr.com/)now! Come say hi! <3


End file.
